Thank you so much for your kind words and your thoughts and your prayers. We are (keep your fingers crossed) starting to see some tiny pin pricks of light at the end of a very long tunnel.
The last two years have been harrowing for us. It has really tested us in so many ways.
I feel that we have passed what ever this test has been. We have not broken up, lost our children, harmed anyone, or gotten down in mud with these animals. We have maintained our dignity, when others have not. This has come at an extremely high price for both of us.
However, we still have each other, we have our beautiful, healthy, happy children, we have a business that is thriving. We have a roof over our heads, food in the kitchen and a place to lay our heads each night. So many people don't even have those simple things.
My parents (pictured above on their wedding day, some 43 years ago) have stepped into a breech left my the other set of would be grandparents. They have done so willingly, with unfailing generosity and support. Mr. Smith and I will never be able to sufficiently thank them for everything they have done for us. I will owe them an enormous debt of gratitude for the rest of my life...I am more than glad to repay it with anything my meager means will allow.
I think the most amazing thing to me though has been the supportive emails and comments from this blog. Total strangers stopping by, leaving a little line of support. Just amazing. None of you know me. We have never laid eyes on each other. Yet you have reached out to me.
I have never in my life experienced anything like it. You all make my heart swell and my eyes fill with happy tears that are now spilling down my cheeks.
An experience like this could make you lose faith in people. And, I will admit, on many days, I have hated this life and the world and many people in it. I have felt that no one cared, that we were so alone out here, fighting to keep our heads above water, felt helpless and hopeless. But you people, you wonderful internet bloggers, tweeters, writers, you keep me afloat.
You are total strangers, but I will always be thankful to you as well. You have warmed my heart on some of the coldest days of my life.
So, enough wallowing in the self-pity. I will be getting back to cooking and getting away from venting.
1 comment:
Oh B! I'm so glad that you've turned a corner. I'm sincerely happy that you're starting to see the light! So MUCH has happened in the 3 years since you were married and any other person would have had a nervous breakdown, left it all and started over somewhere where they couldn't be found. But not you and not Mr, Smith. You stood tall, said "bring it on" and stuck it out even though the worst of times.
Thank you for letting me keep up with you and your family. Thank you for letting me have a small part in your thriving business :) I cherish the moments we get to be real and share what's really going on. You are a great friend.
PS, Z misses H!
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