Soft Pretzel Lust

 Shaping the pretzels

I never cease to be amazed at the endless varieties of bread-type items you can get when you combine flour, yeast, water, salt and some type of shortening. Depending on how you vary those simple ingredients, you can get so many types of breads, rolls and other yeast doughs, it is still dazzling to me.

Yes, my cookie sheets are THAT disgusting! Sorry, they get lots of work around here.

The magic of yeast is just so wonderful to me. I love starting with what looks like nothing to get excited about, and then wham, you have bread dough. The best part, you look like a total rock star when the stuff actually looks and tastes GREAT. Huge bonus!

I have a long-standing love affair with soft pretzels. My mother used to buy us these frozen ones and make them for us on occasion. They are good, but can get horrible freezer burn and can taste a little flat.

I have been making my own for awhile now and the results are nothing less than earth shattering. They are so much tastier than any pretzel you can buy (frozen, fresh or anything in between). They are lighter and have a satisfying crispness on the bottom. You don't need any exotic, special ingredients, so you can make them when you are having a craving.

The results

Ready for their close-up

The only bit of fussiness is the poaching, but believe me, the results are sooooo worth it!

Mr. Smith prefers to consume his pretzels with Trader Joe's Whole Grain Dijon Mustard. I am more of a traditionalist, plain old French's Yellow Mustard suits me just fine.

As soon as you taste it, you are instantly transported to the last baseball game you attended, the mall, the New York street corner...any spot where you would normally have a soft pretzel. The coarse crunchy salt. The tangy bite of the mustard. The crisp, golden brown outside and the soft lovely inside. Perfection.

These embody my childhood in a way very few foods really can.

The secret to perfect soft pretzels

Today we may try using them for sandwich rolls. I am unnaturally excited about this! I will let you know how it works out.

This recipe came to me from Martha Stewart via Smitten Kitchen.

Soft Pretzels

Makes 16 full-sized or 32 miniature

2 cups warm water (100°F to 110°F)
1 tablespoon + 2 tablespoons sugar
1 packet active dry yeast
5 to 6 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
1 tablespoon salt
2 teaspoons canola or other neutral oil
1/4 cup baking soda
1 large egg
Coarse or pretzel salt
Vegetable-oil cooking spray

1. Pour warm water and 1 tablespoon sugar into bowl of electric mixer fitted with a dough hook and stir to combine. Sprinkle with yeast, and let sit 10 minutes; yeast should be foamy.

2. Add 1 cup flour to yeast, and mix on low until combined. Add salt and 4 cups more flour, and mix until combined, about 30 seconds. Beat on medium-low until dough pulls away from sides of bowl, about 1 1/2 minutes. Add another 1/2 cup flour, and knead on low 1 minute more. If dough is still wet and sticky, add 1/2 cup more flour (this will depend on weather conditions); knead until combined, about 30 seconds. Transfer to a lightly floured board, and knead about ten times, or until smooth.

3. Pour oil into a large bowl; swirl to coat sides. Transfer dough to bowl, turning dough to completely cover all sides. Cover with a kitchen towel, and leave in a warm spot for 1 hour, or until dough has doubled in size.

4. Heat oven to 450°F. Lightly spray two baking sheets with cooking spray (parchment paper, ungreased, also works). Set aside. Punch down dough to remove bubbles. Transfer to a lightly floured board. Knead once or twice, divide into 16 pieces (about 2 1/2 ounces each) or 32 if making miniature pretzels, and wrap in plastic.

5. Roll one piece of dough at a time into an 18-inch-long strip.  Twist into pretzel shape; transfer to prepared baking sheet. Cover with a kitchen towel. Continue to form pretzels; eight will fit on each sheet (you may need a third sheet if making miniatures). Let pretzels rest until they rise slightly, about 15 minutes.

6. Meanwhile, fill large, shallow pot with 2 inches of water. Bring to a boil. Add baking soda (and step back, it foams up quickly) and remaining 2 tablespoons sugar. Reduce to a simmer; transfer three to four pretzels to water. Poach 1 minute on each side. Use slotted spoon to transfer pretzels to baking sheet. Continue until all pretzels are poached.

7. Beat egg with 1 tablespoon water. Brush pretzels with egg glaze. Sprinkle with salt. Bake until golden brown, 12 to 15 minutes. Let cool on wire rack, or eat warm. Pretzels are best when eaten the same day, but will keep at room temperature, uncovered, for two days. Do not store in covered container or they will become soggy.

VertigoB Bread

VertigoB Bread Recipe
3 packets of yeast
1 quart potato water (save the water from cooking potatoes)
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 dry skim milk
1 tsp + 1 Tbsp. salt (I use kosher)
1/2 cup + 1/3 cup oil
3 eggs
5 lbs. flour (16-18 cups including 4-5 cups of whole wheat flour)
















Here are the little beauties all ready for the oven.

Get yourself a really big bowl. This is a huge amount of bread dough, so you will need it.

Wisk together the yeast, potato water (it should not be hot, room temperature is just fine), sugar, milk, salt, and oil. Add the eggs one at a time. From this point on, it is all about adding flour. I usually add the whole wheat flour first and then add the white flour. Mix it as long as you can in a mixer and then turn the dough onto a floured surface (preferably a board).

I mix my bread in a contraption like this. We rock it old school around here. No fancy bread electric bread makers around this ranch. That is just how we roll here in So Cal. Cranking that bread dough, kneading it by hand, I am here to tell you, is a REAL work out. You will be sweating when you are done, but lucky you, you will have some yummy bread to replace the calories you just burned off!

You have kneaded enough and added enough flour, when you stick your finger into the dough and it no longer sticks to you when you pull it back out.

Wash out the bowl you mixed the dough in, spray it with non-stick spray. Put the dough inside, turn it once to coat with oil. Cover with plastic wrap and towel. Make sure it is not in any drafts and let it rise until doubled.

If you are like me, it will "get away from you" and be pushing the cover off the bowl.

Punch the dough down completely. Get four bread pans ready, grease them up. Then cut the dough into four equal portions. I usually weigh them to make sure they are the same size. I am terrible at estimating (too much like math and I am REALLY bad at math), so I want to make sure they are equal.

Roll each portion out into a 9 x 12 rectangle, making sure all the bubbles are out. Roll dough toward you, jellyroll fashion, beginning with the upper edge. Seal the dough with the heel of your hand after each roll of the dough. Be sure to seal the final seam on the bottom of the loaf.

Seal the ends of each loaf by pressing firmly with the side of your hand to make a thin, sealed strip.

Fold the sealed ends of the loaf under. Be careful not to tear the dough. Place each loaf into a greased loaf pan ( 9 x 5 x 3 loaf pan).

Cover the dough with plastic wrap and a towel again and let it rise until doubled in size. Again, I have a very bad habit (in the grand tradition of my Grandma Doty) of letting the dough "get away from me." It ends up making these big, beautiful loaves of bread.

Be very careful removing the plastic wrap from the loaves once they have risen. I have fallen victim to rushing to get the plastic off too quickly and deflating the dough. Heartbreaking. There is nothing more pathetic than bread dough that deflates. I am getting sad just thinking about it!

















Here are the beauties right out of the oven.

Bake at 425 for 10 minutes.

Turn the oven temperature back to 375 and bake until brown on the bottom (about 20 minutes, but keep a close eye on them.) My ovens are pretty hot, so I only bake them about 12 minutes on 375.

You can check on them by knocking on the bottom. It should sound hard, not like it is still soft and raw.

Sit down and breathe in the intoxicating perfume of baking bread. It has no equal. It might make you feel giddy and a little lightheaded, but don't worry, it isn't permanent.

Now, once the bread has cooled off a little, slice some of it. Make yourself some toast, pour some coffee and enjoy, really really enjoy the fruits of your labor.

This bread recipe is a family heirloom. My great-grandmother, my grandmother, my mother, my aunts, and now me, have all made this recipe for years.

My great-grandmother made all the bread her family ate. She wore a hole in her cutting board, that is how much bread she made.

After I quit my job, I was feeling super domestic (and a little lost and a little pregnant) and starting making bread again. Mr. Smith (my brand new husband at the time) dubbed it "B Bread." So, for the purposes of this blog, it is now VertigoB Bread. Whatever you choose to call it, it is damn good bread. There is also something very therapeutic about making bread. It has helped me make through more than a few rough patches.
















It is also so rewarding to have these lovely things gracing my counter.

Email me if you have questions about this auntbaaa [at] gmail [dot]com. Even if you don't have questions, I would love to hear from anyone that tries this recipe. Drop me a line and let me know how it turned out.